I don’t quite know how to approach this so.. I’m just going to say it.

Right now I only have enough funds to last me about 2 months. After that I will be out of money. I’ll have to leave Thailand. Though I raised more than my required monthly commitments only about 80% is actually coming in. That has caused my cash to be nearly depleted.

I’m not ready to leave. I don’t believe my time here has been fulfilled.

How you can help:

• make sure your card/bank information is up to date

• restart or start your monthly commitment today

• prayerfully consider increasing your commitment by $5-$10 a month

• give a one-time donation to replenish my cash budget

If you cannot continue giving that’s okay! Please let me know so that I know how much I need to raise. If you haven’t given yet or in a while, along with this newsletter, I will be reaching out to you personally. You’re welcome to respond to this email or reach out to me directly if you have questions.

G I V E

---

Why I want to stay in Thailand

God is doing a mighty work here! Prayer, blood, sweat, and tears have been sown into the hard ground of this village. We are finally reaping a harvest of new believers and seekers. The last 3-4 church services have been packed. 30-35 children and adults gathering together to worship Jesus and learn more about Him.

One lady, I’ll refer to as Auntie, has been eager to serve the village that once hated her. She became a Christian nearly 20 years ago. She has been publicly shamed, protested, and shunned. But her faith has only deepened. She’s the churches first evangelist. She went to the village leader and asked for the information for the people that are in the most need. Auntie, along with the community center staff and myself, visit these families every week. We bring food or medicine, we sing songs of worship and share the hope of Jesus.

One elderly man that we visit is 84 years old. He was diagnosed with cancer in his underarm. It was bleeding so heavily he had to get blood transfusions. He was weak and frail. During one of our visits we encouraged him to pray in the name of Jesus.

One week later on our next visit he was excited to let us know that the bleeding had stopped! He was energetic and even started doing squats to show how strong he’s feeling. He admit that he first prayed to Buddha but nothing happened. When he prayed in Jesus name the bleeding stopped and he regained his strength. He even climbed a tamarind tree the other day. We visit him and his wife every Friday. They look forward to our visits just as much as we do. They aren’t Christians yet, but we know that God is working in their hearts. That’s just one of many stories I could share from out community outreaches.

The children are learning more and more scripture verses. They participate in leading worship for the kids program on Saturdays and for the adult services on Sundays.

I am loving my time with the kids at the center, the kids at the local school, getting to know the families in the community, joining the new believers at church. I am the happiest I’ve been in several years. I want to continue doing ministry here.

I wish I could have a job to finance myself. Unfortunately, that just isn’t how God has set this up for me. I cannot do what I do without you. I know that God will provide for you if He is prompting you to give. Ultimately, He is my provider. I trust that He will provide all that I need. I pray that I won’t have to leave Thailand, but I am willing to do whatever the Lord is asking of me.

---

1. Teaching English at the local school

2. Sunday morning church service

3. Saturday kids service

4. Visit with elderly couple. Side note: there are 6 languages, tribes represented in that picture. What a mighty God we serve!

---

However the next couple of months play out I want you to know that I am forever humbled and grateful for each and every person that has partnered with me. Some of you have been praying for me and financially supporting me for nearly 15 years. Wow! Thank you! I hope my time here isn’t done and I will never forget what I’ve seen God do in the lives of the people of Thailand. More specifically, the village He has called me to. The change in the spiritual atmosphere, the change in the hearts of the people, the salvations, the baptisms, the precious children I get to love on will forever be in my heart.

G I V E
Read More

As I’m writing this there are less than 10 hours left of 2024.

2024 started with some pruning. Friendships were ended, changed, started. Some of it was out of obedience, some of it simply due to the season of life we are in. All of it was good. There were changes in my family, my health, my walk with the Lord. I grew as a person, a speaker, and a missionary. 2024 is ending with the sprouts of growth that came from the pruning.

I got to Thailand two days before the lantern festival, two weeks before Thanksgiving, and 6 weeks before Christmas. Some people are wondering why I didn’t wait until after the holidays to go to Thailand. Here’s why…

Let me back up a little.

I was tempted to title this “Santa Sucks”. But I decided against. I don’t believe in Santa. Never have. I remember writing Jesus birthday letters and putting them under the tree as a kid.

Let me preface this by letting you know I am not judging anyone. I’m simply sharing my thoughts/feelings/experiences about Santa.

As I got into adulthood and working with children I noticed how much emphasis parents put on Santa. Christmas became a time of year when children were disciplined or had expectations on them that weren’t there throughout the year. Christians are no exception. The lengths people go through to make sure their kids believe in Santa never made sense to me. I always wondered why Christian parents pushed belief in Santa seemingly more than belief in Christ. Rather than teaching children to live a life of conviction and grace throughout the year, they were teaching them to behave so that they can get presents.

But the biggest issue I have with Santa is that he doesn’t visit all the children around the world. It makes us feel good to think that and to tell our kids that. But it simply isn’t true.

That’s why I didn’t wait until after the holidays. That’s why I am here. To get to love on the children and to bless their families. To let them know that Jesus sees them and loves them. What better time to be here than to celebrate the birth of Christ - Immanuel, God with us. It’s my favorite time to be here!

---

From Buddhist to Believer

The first and third Sunday we have a church service. The second and fourth Saturday we have a Bible study.

I wish I could tell you the testimonies of each of these new believers. At the Christmas bible study each of us shared part of our testimony and something we are thankful for. Let me tell you, it was everything in me to not cry as I listened to their stories. I will never experience the hardships these people face. They choose Jesus over and over again. They inspire me.

Would you be interested in hearing their testimonies? Maybe I can share a testimony with each newsletter? Let me know what you think!

---

Christmas outreach

I had a smile on my face the whole night. Seeing the kids playing and having a good time warmed my heart. It started raining about 45 minutes before the program started. It was a bummer at first but, it forced us all to stay under the awning. That kept people from leaving or wandering off. Nearly 200 people were there. It was a great time!

---

Here’s to a great 2025

I pray that you will experience all that the Lord has for you in 2025!

I will be turning 45 in May. I want to be my best self and keep getting better. I want to continue to grow in my knowledge of the Word and in my faith. I want to continue my physical health journey by eating well and doing strength training. Along with being intentional about my spiritual and physical health, I am also focusing on my mental and emotional health with a life coach. I am more motivated than ever to learn Thai. I have plans and dreams for the community center and the village. Through all of this my greatest desire is for Jesus to be made known in Thailand.

Here’s to a great 2025!

---

I will be sending newsletters every 3-4 months. If you want to know more about the community center, markets, what it’s like driving a motorbike, etc. let me know! I want to make sure you enjoy reading my newsletters.

I’m still working on furnishing my house. By the time my next newsletter comes out it should be ready to share with you. I am loving this house! It’s better than I could’ve asked for.

Happy New Year!

Read More

I felt abandoned by God

Just a heads up, this might be a bit lengthy.

It started before I left. I thought my flight left was at 10:50pm Sunday night. Turns out, it was 10:50am Sunday morning. Which meant that I had to leave at 5am to go to LAX. I essentially lost a day. Saturday I was rushing to finish packing while my nieces were trying to spend their last few hours with me. I cried several times that day.

I got to the airport, got checked in and to my gate without any issues. I was mentally preparing myself for the 13 hr flight while also processing leaving my family. 4 years is a long time to be gone. I don’t know if you can fully be ready for that.

About an hour and a half into the flight we hit some turbulence. You might not know this about me but I absolutely hate flying. I take a dramamine and do my best to be asleep by the time we take-off. But with leaving so early in the morning and the adrenaline rush from leaving so quickly I couldn’t fall asleep. Anyway, the turbulence was pretty bad. All my mind could think about was “we are over the ocean right now! If anything happens we fall straight into the ocean!” I wasn’t panicking it but I was close lol! After a while the turbulence subsided and I was finally getting tired.

Usually the airplane food is tolerable. I have been eating animal-based for a few months now. That includes not eating processed foods and seed oils. The food was not settling well with me but eventually I was able to get some much need sleep. I remember looking at the flight clock and seeing that there was 41 minutes left. We’d be landing in Seoul. I had a 2 hr layover. Then I was just a 6 hr flight from Chiang Mai.

That was the plan anyway.

After I looked at the time I passed out. Not the fall-asleep-quick passing out. The losing-consciousness passing out. Next thing I knew the people next to me and the flight attendants were shaking me and asking if I was okay. From then I was in and out of consciousness for over an hour. I’ll spare the details but I ended up having to go to the hospital in South Korea. I believe sleep deprivation, dehydration, and stress caused me to have what looked like seizures. And the food definitely didn’t help.

I want to take a moment to express my deep gratitude to Korean Airlines. They took exceptional care of me. Going above and beyond to make sure I was okay. Someone from the airline stayed with me from the plane, in the ambulance and at the hospital. She was by my side the entire time. Not only that, she helped arrange for me to stay at a hotel and rescheduled my flight for the next day. Korean Air covered the cost of the hotel and rebooked my flight for free. I’ve only flown to Thailand on Korean Air and will continue to do so.

During all of this I felt abandoned by God. Why would he let this happen?

As I made it to Thailand and started the process of getting settled here I looked back and knew in the depths of my soul that Jesus was with me all along. Things could have gone way worse. But Jesus made sure I was taken care of. She might not know it but, that Korean Airline employee was used by God that day. I was too out of it to get her name but I will never forget her.

---

Finding solace at home

I had been looking for a house in the city for nearly two months before I got to Thailand. None of them worked out. My options at that point were to move into a home that was in the city but not a comfortable or enjoyable or live a bit farther out of the city to be in a home that would provide solace for me.

After a few hours of sleep on my first night here I met up with Mat from Expat Homes. He took me around town to look at houses. We looked at a few but I just didn’t have peace about them. As we got in the car to head back to the office Mat remembered a house that was for rent. It was not on the list of homes to look at that day. The owners are in the US. They planned on furnishing the home and charging a higher rent. But, Mat had an idea. He suggested that they don’t furnish the home, allow me to furnish it, and charge lower rent. They agreed!

So, I’m in a brand new home. The first person to live in it. It is in a new neighborhood with a huge international school. I couldn’t have asked for a better place to live. It’s a 3 bedroom 2 1/2 bath. Super cute!

I don’t have furniture yet or I would show you some pictures. I did order some basics: bed, couch, dining table. It’ll be another week or two before they arrive. I’ll be sure to share some pics as the house comes together.

It’s been challenging to live in a house that is completely unfurnished. It’s coming together little by little. Just like my crazy flight experience, I can see Jesus right here in the middle of it all.

I got a motorbike! I know I have already saved hours of driving time. I absolutely love being on the bike. It’s freeing! And it saves time and money on gas. #winwinwin

---

What have I been up to?

I have been in Thailand about 3 weeks now. In that time I have found a home and working on furnishing it, bought a motorbike, filed for my work permit, visited some friends, went to church at the community center, and I’m figuring out how to do life here again.

It has been challenging yet fulfilling so far.

I can’t start working at the community center until get my work permit. I am scheduled to pick it up on 18 Dec. Until then I will continue working on getting my house together and adjusting to the pace of life in Thailand.

---

Keep in touch

If you would like to keep in touch there are several ways you can do that.

MarcoPolo, WhatsApp, Signal: 661.331.5128

Email: sara@missionthailand.co

instagram: @perhapsstateofmind

iMessage: essjaydubb@pm.me

If you would like my mailing address let me know. Snail mail is still a fun way to stay in touch :)

I am so very thankful for every person that has been praying for me. Your prayers are impacting my life in many ways. The home I live in. The peace of mind I have in the midst of chaotic moments. All the little things I can’t put into words.

Thank you!

FYI: After this newsletter I will send a Christmas update. Then I will send a newsletter every 3 months or so.

Looking forward to all that God has for me here!

Read More

So, my fundraising deadline came and went. I thought I only needed about $6k in one-time donations. Turns out, I still need $15k. Let me explain.

My monthly budget is $6,500. Whatever amount comes in that is under $6,500 is supplemented by the cash budget. Because my monthly support has only recently reached 100%, I’ve had to utilize my cash budget until now.

Though cash has been coming in, it couldn’t build up as quickly because of the lack in monthly support. Now that the monthly support is coming in, the cash should start to build up. Similarly, the monthly support can also build up the cash. If the monthly support that comes in exceeds the $6,500 it will go into the cash budget. They both feed into each other.

Keep in mind, all of the funds are for four years. If all monthly commitments continue to come in I shouldn’t need to fundraise again until my next term.

The next several sundays I will be speaking at different churches and small groups and I will continue my social media campaign in an effort to finish fundraising. My deadline has been graciously extended to the end of the month.

Below is a graphic that breaks down my monthly and cash budgets. If you have questions please don’t hesitate to reach out!

---

Goodbye event

I was hoping to have a departure date by the time of my goodbye event this past saturday. In my flesh I am feeling defeated. In my spirit I have a peace that surpasses understanding. I can’t explain it but it is undeniable.

I trust the Lord’s plan and his timing even though they aren’t clear right now lol! People say, “God won’t fail you.” As true as that is, I don’t think it isn’t so much that he won’t fail, it’s that he can’t. I am doing all that I can to walk obediently. That includes trusting that the Lord will fulfill his plans for me exactly on time.

If you’ve asked how long I am going to be here please know I’ve asked 10x more. When my heart is in another country I can’t not be eager to get back. I live in the constant tension of wanting to leave and wanting to stay.

Thank you to each of you that showed up to say goodbye. Your prayers and words of encouragement bless me more than you know.

---

Stay connected

This should be my last newsletter until I have a departure date :)

If you would like to see more of what I’m up to outside of the newsletters you can follow me on instagram and facebook!

Other ways to connect with me: email, marco polo, signal

---

Don’t forget, you can read current and past newsletters on my website!

read newsletters
Read More

It’s been a while. The last 3 months have been very busy!

In May I traveled to AZ to attend my nephew’s wedding. I celebrated my 44th birthday in NV with my sister and her family. I shared at Life Charisma church. Then end of the month I drove to MO.

June I was in MO to share at a small group and to catch up with friends and supporters. From MO I drove to TX to spend time with my brother and nephew.

July I started a social media campaign and shared at churches in an effort to finish fundraising. I spent the last two weeks of the month in AZ and NV. In AZ I got to meet my precious little great niece. While I was there we had a goodbye for my niece that is moving to KY to go to Boyce. I also had a goodbye with family. And, I spoke at a couple of churches.

August started with me in NV saying goodbye to my sister and her family. I still have a little bit of money to raise. This month I will be having a goodbye event, sharing at a church, taking the licensing test, shopping and packing, and, Lord willing, leaving for Thailand.

---

About the deadline…

I was given until August 1st to get all of my funds in. Though that didn’t happen, there’s still opportunity to give! I only need $45 in monthly support and about $6,000 in one-time donations. I cannot to back to Thailand until all the money is in. Would you prayerfully consider helping me to finish strong? Any amount you can give today will get me closer to 100%!

Click the link to give now!

give now

---

No time is a good time for goodbye.

This Saturday, August 10th I will conclude my “goodbye tour”. I’ve said goodbye to my brother in TX, family in AZ, and family in NV. Now it’s time to say goodbye to my friends and family friend in CA. If you’re in town I would love to see you and to say goodbye. Though I don’t have a departure date, yet, I will be leaving soon. I want to make sure I have time to say goodbye.

The first half will be a bit structured with a time of sharing and q&a. The second half will be a time of fellowship. Light snacks and drinks will be served.

Please let me know if you plan to attend. I hope to see you there!

---

So many of you have partnered with me and shared my posts and have been praying for me and it doesn’t go unnoticed or unappreciated. I honesty stay humbled by your love and support and God’s faithfulness. I love you all deeply and pray the Lord bless you for all that you do for me.

Read More